Rio

Rio was a mixed bag. On one hand the sheer beauty of the place, the awesome food, the free hotel for 10 nights, and the nightlife was unforgettable. On the other hand everywhere you go you need to watch your back because you are a target.

“I can't believe I didn't get laid there, I must be a failure!”

If you don't get laid in Rio, there is something wrong with you. Perhaps check with your Doctor, or therapist or sex coach and figure it out quick.

5 Things Not to do in Rio

1) Scream at the top of your lungs, "I have a gold necklace I'm selling!"

2) Take a day trip into the Javellas by yourself

3) Join a gang and tell them you have 1/8 Brazillian blood in you.

4) Take out money at any ATM (you will get ripped off)

5) Buy property from a guy named Flavio who also deals cocaine.

FREE HOTEL?

Don't ask but there are percs to bring gay. when I arrived at the Mar Ipanema it was late at night and there were no rooms. I wound up with some God awful dump with the loudest AC I've ever heard in my life and no working safe. The next day upon complaining to the (Gay) Manager who had eyes for me, I was assured it would be taken care of. The next day I was moved to a newly renovated premium room with a marble bathroom, bathrobes and a view. I was never charged for the ten nights. And I got violently ill for a few of them, and Jose (I don't remember his name aso I'll take a 50/50 guess) checked on me all the time. Wonderful stay!